.Probably not being a catty bitch, but I do it sometimes anyways. I like to read blogs. I'm not sure why but maybe blogs tell me more about my friends than they tell me or I am just oblivious to the obvious. I like to act more mature - it gives me security when I need it: example I get lost in Edmonton or something. I am still the life of the party though, so don't even try to hog the attention, because I like it far too much to let someone else have the spotlight. I am vair vair single because I have something against dating man whores, naturally like everybody else, and sadly my school is just full of them. Yeah, I have lots of guys friends, but my personality is a turn off. I'm not sure why, but I am not the kind of girl you want to date. I'm cool with it. I'm vain, but I sponsored a child in Africa. I want to make the world a better place, unfortunately that is insanely hard for me to do. I procrastinate. I would rather continue walking that bend over for a fraction of a second and throw out some garbage. I think what I'm saying is that I want someone else to do it for me. If I ruled the world, you would hate me. In fact, I would probably be assasinated. YOU CAN live without running water, Ipods - actually, lets leave that one in there, because I can't live without mine. If I went back in time, I would go back to the day Albert Einstien invented the nuke. I would kill him and destroy all his information about the postively charged nutrons and the sigle negative one that causes all the damage. We don't need nukes. I won't take a compliment. I just can't. I always have to bitch about it. If you told me my hair looked nice, I would be like - It's being so gay, it took me 30 minutes to try to do what I wanted it to do. I am unbelieveably malicious. I hate how I just don't care about what others want, and I am undeniably cruel - but if you kick a dog infront of me, xpect to land in the intensive care unit in the hospital - if you manage to live. I don't feel regret. Never once have I felt regret in my life. It doesn't make me incredibly free though. I don't regret the time I smacked my best friend. I felt sorry, because I moped around and slept and read a book about indians for two days. But I never regretted it. People pretty much hate me because I am myself. I admit, I don't try to be a better person, I am far to vain and perhaps too confident to believe that I can't be even better that I already 'Am'
I realize all of my flaws, and yet I do nothing. And I am not happy with myself.

trying to figure out myself

everything